October 1999

LOOT *THIS*. OH, AND I’M BACK NOW. AND STUFF. [Author: wirehead]

St. Twister, showing that he has done his penance and learned his lesson from OSI threatening to sue his baby, posted a house looting bug involving, once again, shrooms. Immediately thereafter every drooling yard ape decided to help all those macroing merchants get rid of their thousands of bows and wooden shields being prepared for the dancing gorilla trash barrels. Vapor’s official response was to feel bad for you. Nighthawk, whose towers were looted dry, had a simpler solution, namely killing everyone.

You know, it just looks like I’m on drugs when I post UO news, but this is pretty much what has been happening. Who needs psychotropics when we have the “Phase III Protest” (thank God at least it’s not a goddam petition). Some folks just think they have a god-given right to hoard millions of items and cause Atlantic and other servers to go down for backup at 6a, come back at 12p, and then timewarp back to 8p the next morning. Some folks also believe that voting for this guy is a neat idea, too, so who am I to bitch.

Speaking of unrepentant Nazis, I was gone all weekend to the Texas Ren Fair, which had thousands of nearly naked women in chain mail, including two that were, um, amusing themselves in a corner. Murm happened to observe this and we haven’t been able to get a pulse since. Somewhere amidst the cheap beer, lesbians and chainmail some folks from OSI showed up for a luncheon. I didn’t take copious notes (OK, so I didn’t take ANY notes after the first five minutes) but the gist of it is that you pinheads have accumulated about 50 teraquads too much stuff, and the server databases will be removed to a decent size, both through fair means (new items such as alchemy barrels for potion storage and the ability to share co-ownership of houses and trade secure chests in for more lockdowns for you r0l3playaz out there) and foul (making everything else GO AWAY). Most of the rest of the lunch consisted of the Great Lakes Counselors cheering for themselves. I’m not kidding. Nope.

I also got to meet Jessica “Durga” Mulligan and Jason “I’m-The-Goddam-Boss” Bell, both of whom are avid readers of the site. Um, hi, sorry I couldn’t be more talkative but I was busy being consumed by heatstroke at the time. Also present were Sage, who earlier in the fair was singled out by an ugly woman who dumped dirty water on him. Nope, I’m not making this up either. She sprayed me with water too because I was sitting in the corner wishing I were somewhere else. And as a switch, a GM (GM Rock) was there who looked 30 but insisted he wasn’t a day over 18. I think he and GM Gabriel just switched ID cards and forgot.

Oh, and if you were to destroy all airports on the planet in a horrible fiery cataclysm, I wouldn’t mind in the least.

DISPATCH FROM TEXAS [Author: wirehead]

This is Lum reporting live from College Station, Texas, where we are set to invade a small village in force looking for “the damn dev people”. Well, except for this big guy with the funny accent from Sydney who has a boot with Tyrant’s name on it. Something about “We need a server NOW”, I think, but he’s hard to understand what with all the lag. More once we get drunk and pillage.

SO ALL YOU GUYS WHO PIRATED EVERQUEST JUST GO APOLOGIZE [Author: wirehead]

Showing just precisely how clueless he is, The God Of Gaming John Romero has this to say in an article in Forbes on gaming:

“On-line gaming is still a small segment of the market,” [Romero] says. “And the people who play over the Web are the ones most likely to find sites where they can download the game for free.”

All I got to say is that he better hope people pirate Daikatana when it comes out in 2007, ’cause from the looks of it that’s the only way anyone will ever want to play it…